The Business Plan & The Battlefield of My Mind
So after all was said and done, based on Kyle's comments, I would say my grade was a B+ or maybe an A-. He said he was "impressed" with my work and gave me the next portion of the plan to do.
After watching my video again, I was a little annoyed with how defeated I was acting in the beginning of the video. I almost wanted to edit that beginning part out because it just seemed so pathetic. It was quite embarrassing. But I decided to leave it up because it was real. That is how I was feeling that day and I try my hardest to be a real role model to others and the only way I can be a real role model is to be transparent. I am not always at my best and there is indeed a battle taking place in my mind. I have those moments when just the thought of moving forward makes me so scared I just stand still for long periods of time, but then when I finally get my mind right (usually through prayer) I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Also as I was watching the video, I was able to really see the way I allow my own fears and insecurities to get the best of me at times. That was painful to watch. Here I am today, on the other side of that video and I know how completing that portion of the plan wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. As I was recording that footage I really thought that I was up against a giant, but here on this side of it all, I know I was not up against anything really, just the fictitious fear in my mind.
After watching this video, I feel like it really is time. It is time for me to really begin to overcome my fears and insecurities. One book I was reading lately, said in order to win with other people you have to first win with yourself and the way you do that, is by (first) forgetting the things that you are insecure about. I need to really and truly forget the things that I am insecure about. I prayed last night to God that he would help me to finally get over my insecurities and practice what I preach. The videos I did on insecurities came to mind. Natural Hair Insecurities; " I Won't Look Good With Short Hair!", Overcoming Insecurities; What If Those Fears Weren't Even Real?! & Natural Hair Insecurities: Overcome with Positive Affirmations on Steroids!) Positive Affirmations + Faith = Success in Overcoming Insecurities (Part 2)
I haven't done daily affirmations, seriously, in quite some time. Time to get back to those. I also made up my mind to make a list of things I was insecure about so I can forget them. They don't matte and the only people who notice them are more than likely just me and perhaps a hater or two, but to the people who matter, they don't notice the things I am super insecure over and therefore I need to stop making them so much bigger in my mind than they are in reality.
So let me get to it! Thanks for letting me share. Please feel free to leave any comment you may have on this.